Note to Alanis: THIS is ironic. Don't you think?

By now it's entirely possible that you have already read/heard about the mini-revolt on CNBC this morning among disgruntled commodities traders in Chicago, upset that their tax dollars might possibly be used to bailout filthy poor people their fellow countrymen who are underwater on their mortgages.

Cry me a river.

Am I to believe that these very same would-be Gordon Gekkos stood up in righteous indignation when our last President pushed through the Troubled Assets Relief Program, leveraging our grandchildren's future to bail out their derivative-crazed Wall Street brethren? I doubt it. See, there's a bit of a snobberistic difference involved here. . .

When it comes to mortgage-backed securities, derivatives and arbitrage, there's a wide, yawning chasm between those among us who know what we're doing and those of us who have to wiki to even know what the F arbitrage is. When it comes to home ownership, however -- well, now, who among us can't understand the basics? And isn't home ownership the new American Dream, the common yardstick by which we gauge whether we've "made it?" Place yourself, then, into the polished penny loafers and Brooks Brothers suits of these traders. When the federal government uses your hard-earned tax dollars to bail out banks and traders who tried to make mad coin off sketchy investments, that's okay. . . That's upholding The System. But when the Big O deigns to use those dollars to keep normal, everyday people in their homes -- many of whom, I might add, were preyed upon by said banks and mortgage lenders -- well, that's just unacceptable. That's socialism.

Go right ahead and throw your little Tea Party, boys. Just don't be surprised if it's a little bitter going down.


[editor's note: I'm not a huge fan of the mortgage bailout proposal or the moral hazard involved, either. But I hate greedy sanctimony more than I hate saving people from themselves.]